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Health, Family & Lifestyle
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I Hate You Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality
I Hate You Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality

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Authors: Jerold J. Kreisman, Hal Straus
Publisher: Avon Books
Category: Book

List Price: £5.99
Buy Used: £1.35
You Save: £4.64 (77%)



New (26) from £1.36

Avg. Customer Rating: 4.0 out of 5 stars 18 reviews
Sales Rank: 7847

Media: Mass Market Paperback
Edition: Reprint
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 224
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.2
Dimensions (in): 6.7 x 4.2 x 0.7

ISBN: 0380713055
Dewey Decimal Number: 362
EAN: 9780380713059
ASIN: 0380713055

Publication Date: February 1, 1991
Availability: Usually dispatched within 1-2 business days
Condition: 100% Brand New! Delivery from USA in 1-3 weeks via airmail

Also Available In:

  • Hardcover - I Hate You - Don't Leave Me

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  • Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder: Coping When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder
  • Lost in the Mirror: An Inside Look at Borderline Personality Disorder
  • Get Me Out of Here: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder
  • Borderline Personality Disorder Demystified: An Essential Guide for Understanding and Living with BPD (Demystified Series)
  • Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder (Diagnosis & Treatment of Mental Disorders)

Customer Reviews:   Read 13 more reviews...

3 out of 5 stars Informative on symptoms but another book needed to fill in gaps   July 5, 2008
This book was the first time that I had seen anyone successfully explain the symptoms of this disorder. Finally I knew exactly what the professionals were actually on about! For the time this book was written, it was ground-breaking stuff.

However, this should not be the only book you read on the topic. It gives a bleak outlook on the prognosis of those suffering from BPD. In fact it took me a while to read this because I got despondant with it all.
Follow this book with the other book the authors wrote called "Sometimes I act crazy..." (2004) to provide the much needed information on treatment and hope for recovery that simply wasn't feasible in 1989.



4 out of 5 stars Very clinical but interesting   November 28, 2007
I have both been in a relationship with somebody with BPD and I am training as a Psychotherapist so this book was useful to me, however it is quite clinically written with lots of references and as such a bit 'dry'.


4 out of 5 stars Worth reading...   August 11, 2007
 1 out of 1 found this review helpful

I'm diagnosed BPD & contrary to much of the opinion here i DID find this book , for the most part, helpful.

Yes, it is written as though aimed at family, friends, colleagues etc but that doesnt mean it isn't useful for Borderlines as well. In fact i can accept some of the harsher realities of my Personality better when read as though in the third person as it is equally as informative but much less condemning that having the author tell YOU how wonky YOU are.

The book contains many, many case studies & real life accounts of Borderlines which i always find interesting - especially when you read how these people have found ways to deal with their behaviours & thus improve their relationships.

Contrary to one opinion here i think the book does give hope for recovery - i'm not sure BPD can ever be called cured but i believe we can certainly learn the skills needed to recover & lead much more fulfilling lives. This book details the SET principle - though this is something to be used by those dealing with Borderlines, not really Borderlines themselves.

I agree the book is showing its age, it makes no mention of modern therapeutic practices such as DBT in the treatment of BPD and the pharmacotherapy section is pretty outdated now too.

However i would recommend this book solely on its section regarding coping and dealing with the Borderline, it explains why we behave how we do & how best to deal with us when we are being difficult. I imagine there is more thorough literiture on dealing with us out there but this is a good start.

To sum it up in a nutshell... outdated but still worth a read.



4 out of 5 stars Interesting & thought-provoking but showing its age   October 31, 2006
 14 out of 14 found this review helpful

I bought this after reading one of the reviews here, as my ex-husband fulfils almost all of the criteria for diagnosis, and despite being divorced since 2001, still tries to control & create havoc in the lives of me & our children. This book is great up to a point, already identified, that it is based in the 1980's, and really feels like going back in time, and on a more practical note refers to the criteria set in DSM-III-R, which have obviously been updated quite significantly since. It still would serve as a good introduction to BPD, although "Stop Walking On Eggshells" feels more current and is a more fluent read.


4 out of 5 stars distressing but helpful   June 11, 2004
 28 out of 31 found this review helpful

This book is obviously not aimed at the people who actually suffer from BPD, rather their families/partners/friends. I say this because it is blunt,frank,lacking in tact. And it is for these reasons that i would recommend it highly to anyone who suffers with this condition as i myself have. The author doesn't cushion the blows or sugar coat it in the least, which is the only real way to be able to take any of this information in if you are suffering with the condition.

I would highly reccommend this to sufferers and their partners alike, as though in parts it may be a little outdated, it is certainly eye-opening.

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