I would highly reccommend this to sufferers and their partners alike, as though in parts it may be a little outdated, it is certainly eye-opening.


Good book for its time but outdated and needs updating   October 28, 2003
 19 out of 22 found this review helpful

Borderline personality disorder has levels of prevalence, social dysfunction, health care utilization, and chronicity that make its public health significance similar to that of other major psychiatric disorders such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or major depression, yet it has not received comparable attention.

This was one of the first books offered to the broader public, and as such deserves its place in the BPD literature.

Borderline personality disorder often leaves those who become intimately involved feeling guilty, helpless, and like they have personally failed. For an excellent example of this sense captured in a book, read Walker's THE SIREN'S DANCE: MY MARRIAGE TO A BORDERLINE, which also has clinical appendices discussing DBT, etc.

Both of these books will give the reader a great understaning of this very complicated and hard to treat condition.


This book saved my sanity!   December 1, 2000
 71 out of 79 found this review helpful

On the day of my wedding, my wife suddenly 'flipped', and I discovered I was married to a women I didn't even know. She later told me that she could no longer live the lie, and had been acting the person she wanted to be, but couldn't. From that moment on, my life became a living hell. She accused me of terrible things,I wouldn't have even thought of. She made me feel that everything was my fault, and drained me emotionally and physically. I truly believed that if I could just show her the love that she had been lacking in her life, I could make everything all right. The more I gave, the more she took. She became violent, and abusive to me and our children. In the end, I had to leave her for my own sanity. Whilst in a bookstore, I saw this book, and thought when seeing the title, 'I've heard that before'.

Whilst reading this book, I was unable to put it down. It was amazing, as if someone had sat and watched my wife, and then written this book about her. I no longer felt the confusion, and personal guilt. This book helped me to realise that indeed, it was not my fault. And also that it was not my wife's fault. The relief of being able to put a name to her condition was immense. I was able to go back to her, armed with knowledge that enabled me to stay with her for another year. This book (and others)enabled me to make an informed decision about divorcing my wife. I knew that she would never change, and was unwilling to make any positive moves to improve her condition. This decision was hard, but I find some peace in the knowledge that I did everything I could, and that she is very ill, and not willing to help herself get better.

This book really did bring peace to me, whilst reading it, it was as if a light had suddenly been switched on. Everything became so clear, as to WHY she behaved that way, and WHY our life, and that of our children was so terrible


Information in this book is too old   August 20, 1999
 46 out of 49 found this review helpful

I agree that this book is well written, but I, as someone with borderline personality disorder, believe that when this book was written, treatment for the disorder was not establised in an organized way. I think this book writes about the disorder as if there is no hope for those who have the disorder. I know that is isn't author's fault. When the book was written, it was probably true that there was nothing to help individuals with the disorder. I admit that this book gives me a good understanding about the disorder, but I am concerned that someone thinks there is no hope if you are diagnosed with the disorder. In terms of treatment and therapy, what the book is telling us is no longer true today. The borderline personality disorder is treatable today.


A must for anyone dealing with BPD in any way!   August 11, 1999
 5 out of 6 found this review helpful

This is the book that gave me the knowledge and understanding of BPD. It is a thorough explanation from borderlines themselves and people who live with borderlines. Not only does the author give examples of behaviors but then also provides possible ways to control the behaviors. I highly recommend!