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| Why Men Don't Listen And Women Can't Read Maps: How We're Different and What To Do About It: How We're Different and What to Do About It | 
 enlarge | Authors: Allan Pease, Barbara Pease
Publisher: Orion
Category: Book
List Price: £7.99
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New (37) from £2.64
Avg. Customer Rating:  65 reviews
Sales Rank: 3954
Media: Paperback
Pages: 320
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.7
Dimensions (in): 7.8 x 5.1 x 1.1
ISBN: 0752846191
Dewey Decimal Number: 150
EAN: 9780752846194
ASIN: 0752846191
Publication Date: March 1, 2001
Availability: Usually dispatched within 1-2 business days
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| Editorial Reviews:
From Amazon.co.uk
"Let's look at the thoughts, attitudes, and emotions, as they're experienced, in their very different ways, by men and women". This is one of Allan Pease's chirpy gear-changes in this provocatively titled book. Then he begins to ruminate: men and women live in the same world, but they experience it as if they came from two different worlds. Boys like things, girls like people. Every boy wants to be in a gang, and wants a gun; every girl has her best friend, with whom she shares her secrets. Men want status and power, women want love. It's amazing, he concludes, that they can ever live together. Well, yes, and that living together is a pretty fraught business, though he doesn't seem keen to go too deeply into that: this psychology, with its frequent allusions to research and its jokey little dramatisations, is upbeat feelgood stuff, which is why it's made him such a fortune on three continents. "Listen to this!" he'll say, then on comes an Aussie squabble, the woman berating a husband whose grunts proclaim the fact that he's not listening. But to sell four million copies of a book about body language--in 33 different languages--means Pease and his wife Barbara must be getting something right. There are many scientifically-documented facts about the difference between the sexes, and Pease is selling them with a smile to an ever-growing public. You may be a contented member of that public, or you may find your hackles rising. It takes all sorts! Betty Tadman
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| Customer Reviews: Read 60 more reviews...
 well.... May 18, 2008
1 out of 2 found this review helpful
Well, it looks to be perpetuating stereotypes sure enough, just from the title.
I was prepared to give it a shot, though. I'm relatively uncritical, and I am perfectly prepared to admit that authors have probably done their research and know more about the subject than I do, otherwise I wouldn't bother reading the book. And titles are sensationalist, and you shouldn't judge a book by its cover.
So I start reading, objectively and open-minded. I'm not looking to pick holes in anything it says.
However, I'm pulled up short by the quiz to determine whether you have a masculine or feminine brain.
Fair enough, I think. It has those nice a. b. c. choices like in women's magazines (always fun...) and then you add up your scores (so many for each a, so many for each b...) and see where you fall on the scale: the higher you score, the more feminine your brain. Sounds good.
Until I look at the scoring system and realize...the system is DIFFERENT depending on your gender. The quiz which they bill as "enlightening", presumably meaning that it will clearly show you that the women you give it to score higher than the men...well, of course it will, because the women score five points more for each a. answer than the men.
As a woman, I score 125.
If I were a man, with EXACTLY the same brain, I would score 90.
A 35 point gap, on a scale around 300 points long, is SIGNIFICANT. 35 points is bigger than the 30 point overlap they have between their cutoff points for masculine and feminine. A man and a woman could easily answer the questions exactly the same way, and their scores place the man in the masculine zone and the women in the feminine (I say easily, because since a's score highest either way and both my scores are firmly in the masculine zone, whatever gender I calculate as, you'd need to check more a's than me to hit the overlap zone, and doing that would increase the gap)
...so, what does it prove? That if you set up the system in a way that means women will score differently from men, they will score differently?
Well, duh.
If the sort of methods you use to determine difference are biased, the results will reflect that. And if you publish that quiz and expect people to use it and find it "enlightening", I can only assume it's representative of the research methods you base the book on.
Somehow, that makes me lose my faith in the rest of what they have to say. If you are going to say men and women's brains are wired differently and they are fundamentally different in x y and z ways, then you should have enough confidence in your hypothesis to judge them by the same yardstick.
Sham and Scam January 25, 2008
2 out of 2 found this review helpful
This book is similar to all of those infamous pyramid schemes--the authors make money off of other people's hard work, data gathering, and scientific studies. This would be bad enough if were not for the fact that the authors are also intellectually dishonest. The conclusions of the studies they cite do not support the premises of the authors. The Peases warp these studies' findings to fit their purpose and also ignore any facts that contradict their work.
For example, they discuss many studies on homosexuality, which they state all show that "people are born gay," when, in actuality, those studies' researchers stated that while some people have an innate disposition toward feminine behavior or attraction to their same sex, environment and an individual's development are as great, or even greater, factors in determining whether someone chooses a gay lifestyle. Just as someone may be genetically prone to depression or anger, so are some people toward homosexuality. The authors of this book also state that no therapies have ever succeeded in turning someone to a heterosexual lifestyle, when again, in fact, such therapies have a higher success rate than any current drug addiction therapy.
This is just one area where the Peases seemingly willfully ignore current scientific studies and evidence in order to sell their books, DVDs, seminars, video and audio programs. However, please do not just take my word for it and review the current available information.
 Rather entertaining! January 3, 2008
0 out of 1 found this review helpful
Having read some of the negative reviews I was somewhat wary of the content, but I must say that it is at the very least very entertaining. As I am not a psychologist or brain scientist, or any other type of scientist for that matter, I can't asses whether the authors claims and theories are true or false, neither can I comment on any of the apparent proof of them being wrong in the negative feedback. However, I did find many of the explanations to be plausible and not all that far fetched. Explanations about the theories are quite simplistic without much detailed reference to any researched, which is a downside to the book.
Both my wife and I got great laughs out of this book, and there where countless comments like: "That is so true!". Whether or not the theories are true or completely unproven didn't really matter to us, as it was still very good entertainment.
 Why is it so difficult for some people to accept differences between the genders? October 22, 2007
1 out of 2 found this review helpful
I read this book about 5 years ago and it subtly changed the way I dealt with both men and other women. In making slight changes to the way I communicated and expected communication back I significantly improved both my professional and personal relationships.
Why is it that people will willingly accept some evolutionary factors (self preservation, fight or flight mechanisms etc), but as soon as it is suggested that evolution may have encouraged the development of different traits in men and women it becomes a 'sensitive' issue. Clearly everyone is different and there is a lot more than simply evolution which makes us what we are. However, understanding that the genders will often communicate differently, and why, is a great step forward in the 'equal but different' debate.
Yes, this book is written to appeal to the masses, and the use of metaphors and examples is sometimes sweeping. But the message is good and is got across in a way which is easy to understand and use.
 Be open minded on the theory ... October 20, 2007
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
I'm not one for self-help books and this is the first I have read as the title seemed a bit fantastic.
While it is possible to accept that there are possible personality differences, there is a bit of a leap of faith made from the evidence. This is in terms of the data presented and the resulting theory that males and females are different in the brain and that affects what we do ... possibly. Don't forget the authors make money from touring and telling people about this. If it were that good, then perhaps they would have shared a nobel prize for world peace.
Males and females may be different for reasons not yet fully understood and also that some of us are good communicators and some aren't.
Don't expect this to change your world if that's what you need. But at least use it as a catalyst to start the communication - which is probably a more useful message to take away from the book.
Two stars in that it may be useful, but take this with a "pinch of salt".
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